I Got Into An Argument With My Father Yesterday

I got into an argument with my father yesterday.

It was over my daughter.

I’d sent him a video of her first steps on her own (so proud!😭).

And his response was “She should be walking more by now.”

😤

Yea, that did it! I was PISSED!

Aside from the obvious rudeness of the comment, it really triggered me bc it brought me back to my childhood where my father’s ideas of how things “should” be where always super-imposed on how things actually were.

I “should” be more like this person, dress more appropriately, behave in this way, etc.

Ironically, my fathers desire to have me be a certain way backfired majorly & instead I doubled down on who I really was, in all my messy & troubled glory.

Eventually, I also learned the art of accepting things exactly as they are, seeing them as necessary if they were so, & an opportunity for deepening compassion & gaining wisdom.

There are no “shoulds” in my world. Only what is & ALSO (and this part is SOOO important!) my boundaries of what I will & WILL NOT make space for.

And yesterday I clearly expressed I will NOT be making space for him or anyone “shoulding” on my little girl.

The family pattern of toxic expectations & judgments stops here.

It stops with me not treating myself that way even though that was a part of my upbringing. And it dies out bc I do not plant those rotten seeds in my own child’s head.

The real magic begins when we can fully accept & love ourselves as we are, through our own process & in our own timing. It makes loving others like that possible, and it’s amazing how someone can flourish under a love like that.

Share this message with anyone who needs to hear it.